FunnyGuy’s New Year Resolutions

FunnyGuy has, over the years, worked tirelessly in setting New Year’s Resolutions promptly every January 1st.

 

While he’s not always the best at keeping them, you can say that he is consistent and dedicated in his efforts in making resolutions.


Here’s the progress FunnyGuy has made till now:

RESOLUTIONS ON READING

2006: I will read at least 20 good books a year.

2007: I will read at least 10 books a year.

2008: I will read 5 books a year.

2009: I will finish The Pelican Brief

2010: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.

2011: I will read at least one article this year.

2012: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

 

RESOLUTIONS ON SPENDING AND SAVING:

2006: I will not spend my money frivolously.

2007: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.

2008: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.

2009: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2010.

2010: I will be totally out of debt by 2011.

2011: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2012.

2012: I will try to be out of the country by 2013.

 

MARRIAGE RESOLUTIONS:

2008: I will try to be a better husband to Jane.

2009: I will not fight so much with Jane.

2010: I will not leave Jane.

2011: I will try for a reconciliation with Jane.

2012: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.

 

RESOLUTIONS ON WOMEN:

2008: I will stop looking at other women.

2009: I will not get involved with Marge.

2010: I will not have sex with Marge frequently

2011: I will not let Marge pressure me into another marriage.

2012: I will stop looking at other women.

 

RESOLUTIONS ON MY RELATIONS WITH BOSS:

2009: I will not let my boss push me around.

2010: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.

2011: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.

2012: I will tell Dr. Patrick and the group about my boss.
RESOLUTIONS ON WEIGHT MANAGEMENT:

2006: I will get my weight down below 180.

2007: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.

2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.

2009: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2010: I will work out 5 days a week.

2011: I will work out 3 days a week.

2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

 

RESOLUTIONS ON TOOTH CARE:

2007: I will brush my teeth twice a day this year.

2008: I will brush my teeth at least once a day this year.

2009: I will see my dentist this year.

2010: I will have my cavities filled this year.

2011: I will have my root canal work done this year.

2012: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

 

RELIGIOUS RESOLUTIONS:

2008: I will take active participation in Church activities this year.

2009: I will go to church every Sunday.

2010: I will go to church as often as possible.

2011: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.

2012: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

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