Sports Jokes

Its been a long time since ByteColumn was active. Rest assured you’ll have more posts from now.

Now, let’s get down to business.

This is the season of sports and here goes. Let us begin with the most gentlemanly of all sports.

Ten Best Remarks by Caddies

10. Golfer: Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?

9. Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.

8. Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.

7. Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: Eventually.

6. Golfer: You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.

5. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.
Caddy: It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.

4. Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.

3. Golfer: Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.

2. Golfer: This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.
Caddy: This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.

1. Golfer: That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.
Caddy: It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.

 

The Milkshake of Strongest Weightlifter

After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to make a telephone call.

Since he didn’t want anyone to take his drink, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, “The World’s Strongest Weightlifter,” and left it under his glass.

When he returned from making his call, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with new writing that said:

“Thanks for the treat!”
“The World’s Fastest Runner”

 

The Stranded Soccer Fans

4 men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died.

The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.

The 1st man said, “I support Liverpool, so I’ll eat his liver”.

The 2nd man said, “I support Manchester United, so I’ll eat his chest”.

The 3rd man said, “I support Arsenal… but I’m not very hungry”!

 

 

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